Friends without Benefits? Really?!

by Christine Kalmbach

In a September Vanity Fair Article, Friends Without Benefits by Nancy Jo Sales, it talks about the effect of social media and the effect of pornography, sexting and hook-up apps that and how it is harming teens. Here is an excerpt from the article:

Friends Without Benefits by Nancy Jo Sales

This year, 81 percent of Internet-using teenagers in America reported that they are active on social-networking sites, more than ever before. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, ((Snapchat, Skype, Tumblr, Vine, Ask.fm)) and new dating apps like Tinder, Grindr, and Blendr have increasingly become key players in social interactions, both online and IRL (in real life). (I added some of these ((applications in parentheses)) because many parents may not even be aware of them!) Combined with unprecedented easy access to the unreal world of Internet porn, the result is a situation that has drastically affected gender roles for young people. Speaking to a variety of teenaged boys and girls across the country, Nancy Jo Sales uncovers a world where boys are taught they have the right to expect everything from social submission to outright sex from their female peers. What is this doing to America’s young women?

Another excerpt talks about the stats of porn:

Porn is more available now than at any time in history—especially to kids. Ninety-three percent of boys and 62 percent of girls have seen Internet porn before they turn 18, according to a 2008 study in CyberPsychology & Behavior. Seventy percent of boys have spent more than 30 minutes looking at porn, as have 23 percent of girls. Eighty-three percent of boys and 57 percent of girls have seen group sex online. Eighteen percent of boys and 10 percent of girls have seen rape or sexual violence.

The article is rough, read at your discretion with its seedy language, vile sex acts and emotionally and spiritually scarring stories.

The irony to this chilling and sickening article is the fact that Vanity Fair has featured it! The magazine that brings you naked women every month, airbrushed and tanned to perfection selling lies to make girls and women think that that is how they are supposed to look!  This is the Vanity Fair that features articles with lurid sexual details, seductive poses, innuendo, pedophiles interviews, and nude photographs ad nauseum.

Vanity Fair actually cares about young women getting hooked on casual sex?

Vanity Fair actually cares about young women being lied to and being used?

Sure seems hard to believe given the monthly content of their rag.  Maybe Vanity Fair needs to read this article and rethink the way they’ve been doing business? Maybe they care about children being used and abused? Maybe they care and will start setting a standard to not push sexuality on young children and teens. The message that has been promoted is warped for sure.

Hey, Vanity Fair, it’s about time you practiced what you are preaching? Vanity Fair…are you listening?

Join others in the fight against pornography (https://www.facebook.com/PeopleAgainstPorn), comprehensive sex ed (which is not comprehensive), and Planned Parenthood in order to protect our children! Join Texas Parents Care! https://www.facebook.com/TexasParentsCare

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How to Respond to a Child who has been Exposed to Pornography (Part 2)

Here are questions to ask as you evaluate your child’s exposure to pornography.

by Rob Jackson

Was this my child’s first exposure?

It will also be important to learn if this was his first exposure to pornography. The frequency of exposure matters, as a child becomes increasingly desensitized over time. As desensitization occurs, a child typically begins to seek a greater frequency of pornography, and a harder or more severe quality. Greater frequency and a shift to hard-core pornography are indicators that the brain has begun to seek more stimulation, which can lead to addiction.

If you learn that your child has developed a habit of viewing pornography, it will be important to seek the services of a specialist who is trained to facilitate recovery.

Just exactly what did my child see?

What types of pornography did he see? Sadly, with the Internet a child can be exposed to a wide range of sexual perversions in seconds. If your child has an e-mail address, chances are he or she is being exposed to pornographic e-mail. One recent study found that 47 percent of school-aged children received porn spam on a daily basis. This study also found that as many as one in five children open the spam they receive.1 It will be important to learn about the types of pornography that your child viewed. For example, was the pornography heterosexual or homosexual? Was it limited to body parts or did it include sex acts? Was sexual violence a part of the pornography, and did it include bestiality?

Many parents will seek the help of a therapist at this point. Wisely, they want to safeguard their roles as parents, and avoid harming the relationship by making the teen feel interrogated or ashamed as they ask such difficult questions. The therapist can also delicately approach the job of ascertaining to what extent he or she has been exposed to more severe types of pornography, without inadvertently planting ideas the teen has never even imagined.

Regardless of what was viewed, it will be more important to rehabilitate your child than to merely correct or punish him.

Read the rest of the article here:

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/sexuality/when_children_use_pornography/how_to_respond.aspx